Limiting beliefs

Our mind is biased. It wants to protect us. It might not seem like it all of the time, but it does. The problem is, this world has exposed us to risks that our brains might hold onto for longer than is necessary. This might have led you to believe certain things about the world, your relationships or yourself. These things don’t always serve us well.

What if I told you that it doesn't have to be this way?

Let's take the beliefs about yourself. I'll use an example of mine - I am not good at sports or exercise. When I was younger, I didn't get chosen to join sports teams, I wasn't asked to go along to dancing with other kids, I had some less than positive reports from PE teachers and had a little bit of fun poked at me by others when I tried to join in. Once, I even tripped and fell face first doing the hurdles in front of the whole school. Embarrassed doesn’t quite cut it…

My brain saw all of this evidence and, to protect me, told me I shouldn't try anymore. It was unsafe - I was risking humiliating myself, getting rejected and not having any friends. I learned that I am no good at exercise and to try would be too risky, because I could end up isolated and lonely.

For years, this was something that was completely immovable and absolutely true. Nobody could tell me otherwise because... well I had evidence proving it was true, and nobody had any evidence to prove it wasn't.

All of that changed the day I decided to run on my own. I decided to put on my old trainers and go outside in the dark to give it a go.

And guess what? It turned out I could do exercise. Yes, I was actively running at a slower pace than I walk - but I did it. And within a few months, I'd completed a half marathon. Something my younger self couldn't have imagined in a million years.

Now, this isn't a bragging story. I very much ran/walked that half marathon and remember being one of the final people to cross that finish line, but this is a huge achievement I'll be forever grateful for. From that first run onwards, I've built evidence that has contradicted that belief that I cannot do exercise. I now love daily movement and I'm so much healthier and happier as a result.

I still get that belief creeping in - it's hard wired in there. Sometimes it stops me trying something new or feeling embarrassed in a moment, but I know how to check it now.

Let's think about if I hadn't decided to go for a run that evening.

I wouldn't have started hobbies that keep my heart and body healthy.

I wouldn't have taken part in many events since.

I wouldn't have travelled to new places to take part in these events.

I wouldn't have met some of my closest friends.

I wouldn't have had one of my main coping strategies when things feel tough.

All because my mind is trying to protect me.

However, I was lucky enough to turn this around.

Perhaps you have a belief about yourself which is limiting you.

Perhaps it's similar, or perhaps you're 'not academic' so wouldn't dream going for certain jobs. Perhaps you're 'an awkward person' so put off social events or speaking to anybody new.

Perhaps underneath this, you actually believe you are a bad friend, a bad partner, parent or a bad person altogether. This feels like something you either have to constantly work hard not to do which exhausts you, or you see this as a self fulfilling prophecy so allow it to happen. Self-sabotage happens, the hole gets deeper and deeper - unable to see the exit.

It doesn't have to be that way.

Come along and let's talk it through. Let's explore what you believe about yourself, perhaps understand where this came from, or just focus on how this impacts you on a daily, weekly and monthly basis to lighten the load and start to see a different option.

Because recognising it and exploring it is the first step in turning this around.

With love,

Rachel